Wednesday, February 24, 2010

An Ode to Cranberry Salad

[Ed. Note: I'm sure many of my gentle readers were ENTHRALLED with the Ode To Green Fluff that I published about six months ago. With the Easter holiday upon us shortly, I figured it would be appropriate to publish my next food-related opus, a tribute to my grandmother's cranberry salad. Enjoy!]

O dish of wobbly goodness, how I admire thee from afar!
With proper ingredients and good technique, a salad that's never sub-par.
Fresh apples and cranberries and ground walnuts for sure,
Anything more exotic and you wouldn't be so demure.

With fruit and nut perpetually suspended in Jell-O,
Ne'er a more delectable concoction has been sampled by this fellow.
Portions are served on lettuce both crisp and green,
Nary a vinaigrette is required which makes it quite lean.

Authenticity as a salad is assured by the masses,
As a multi-generational comfort food, clearly this passes.
But who amongst us really knows the true story
Of how fruit in Jell-O became a salad, a tale most hoary!

Admitting that chicken, tuna, and egg all make great salads,
The requirement of greens and a dressing simply must not be valid.
Can the salad universe handle such an expansive variety?
With selections so vast there can be only satiety.

What's needed right now is recognition that diversity is key,
All salads should be welcomed to be all that they can be.
So, this holiday season, embrace your cranberry salad with gusto,
The sour, sweet, crunchy Jell-O treat that's so good, you'll be in lust-o!


Mahala said...

With just a small dollop of whipped cream on top, this could be the best thing ever!

Tino said...

@Mahala: In my grandmother's kitchen, it would be Cool Whip. I agree with you though, a little sweetened whipped cream can't be beat.

Mahala said...

In my mother's house it would also have been Cool Whip. But she used to make an angel food cake and frost it with real whipped cream every Christmas. We knew the difference. But we still loved our Cool whip. And when I am in a super weight losing frame of mind I will resort to the fat free Cool Whip. It's better than no whipped at all.

Ryan said...

There once was a day, when I was a young man
That my mother would mold said salad in a Bundt pan
And when the semi-solid mass would release from its frame
You thought, "That would go great with a dollop of cream."
Not for my mother from previous generations
That found thousands of uses for commercial preparations
So hold onto your stomachs as this will likely cause it to flip
She'd fill up that hole with spoonfuls of MIRACLE WHIP!
-Ryan Rogers excerpt from "Ballad of Mayo (and Mayo substitutes)"

My mother

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